Guest Column: Nazi Symbols Are Fine Actually, by Cool Antifascist Bartender
Howdy folx! It's me, the apocryphal cool antifascist bartender who kicks out someone with Nazi symbols on their vest and then lectures everyone present about the importance of policing your spaces. If you haven't heard of me before, I'm kind of like a leftist version of Marine Todd.
Well, recently there's been a bit of kerfuffle regarding a fellow bartender named Graham Platner whose campaign for senate is experiencing a tiny lil' bit of friction on account of his totenkopf tattoo. So as the Mary Poppins of Antifascism, people want to know my take on the situation.
This is embarrassing, but I have to make a correction to my classic story: Nazi symbols are fine, actually. Your bar isn't a Nazi bar so long as you say it isn't and you assure everyone the guy with the Nazi tattoo/patch/salute/etc didn't really mean it and he's cool now anyways.
Look, when Michael B Tager first told my story in 2020 we were riding high on Biden. Anything seemed possible. We were rebuilding the world in our image, and god help anyone who tried to stop us.
That was ages ago. We live in a different world now, and we all need to face reality: Sometimes you just gotta let a couple Nazis in your bar. If your existing customers get mad and stop supporting you, that's on them for lack of pragmatism. What, you'd rather the Nazi's money go to the Nazi bar? That's not how you win.
We need all the help we can get. And if a guy with a Nazi tattoo/long history of mercenary work/romantic past with Republican activists/fondness for slurs wants to help us, you're only helping the fascists win by turning that away.
Now check this out, I'm gonna flip the shaker behind my neck and pour out a cocktail that makes the progress pride flag.