Annual Meeting of LiveLeak Democrats Caucus Demands More Car Crash Videos
by Picadora Bransen
The LiveLeak Democrats caucus has prepared their statement for the upcoming elections.
"Walkable cities and public transit are one of the most pressing issues of our day. We are imploring the Democrats and America as a whole to post more videos of car crashes in service of that."
In a written statement, the LiveLeak Democrats dismissed accusations that their love of car crash videos was ghoulish or motivated by deep-seated mental sickness. "We need to confront the damage caused by car-based infrastructure. What better way than repeatedly watching vehicles slam into bollards, walls, and each other at high speeds multiple times a day every day?"
The LiveLeak Democrats caucus has seen increasing competition over the years, with WorldStarHipHop Democrats and Independent Channers For A Better Tomorrow siphoning off many members after the closing of their namesake in 2021.
There is a growing tension within the party over their abandoning the Drone Strike Videos For Ukraine initiative.
"Every day there are thousands of hours of combat footage coming in from the front lines. We are doing a great disservice to the people of Ukraine by not watching Russian teenagers get turned into chunky salsa to great applause." a high-ranking member confessed under conditions of anonymity, "It's hard to take peoples' devotion to the cause of destroying Putin seriously if they're not actively seeking out videos of Russian death at scale, you know? I'm seriously considering joining the Ring Republicans, they're not squeamish about destroying peoples' lives on video."